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  A BEAUTIFUL MESS

  ____________________

  THE MOSAIC COLLECTION

  BRENDA S. ANDERSON

  About A BEAUTIFUL MESS

  Can she love the child who broke up her marriage?

  Nearly four years ago, Erin Belden's happy life became a shattered mess. After her husband admitted to an affair and that a child had been conceived, he left her and their young daughter for his new family. Now, she's finally ready to put the pieces of her life together. She's set to launch her own business and even thinks her heart might be open to romance--should the right man come along.

  But just when everything seems to be lining up, she receives a devastating call: her ex-husband and his wife have been killed in a car accident, and Erin is listed in their will as their daughter's legal guardian.

  How can she be a mother to the child--let alone love the child--who broke up her marriage? Does she have the courage to start over yet again and turn this mess into a mosaic of beauty?

  A single mother's journey from bitterness to forgiveness.

  Books by Brenda S. Anderson

  _________________________

  THE MOSAIC COLLECTION

  A Beautiful Mess

  A Beautiful Christ-mess

  (a short story In Hope is Born: A Mosaic Christmas Anthology)

  THE POTTER’S HOUSE BOOKS

  Long Way Home

  Place Called Home

  Home Another Way

  WHERE THE HEART IS SERIES

  Risking Love

  Capturing Beauty

  Planting Hope

  COMING HOME SERIES

  Pieces of Granite

  Chain of Mercy

  Memory Box Secrets

  Hungry for Home

  Coming Home – A Short Story

  Vivant Press

  A Beautiful Mess

  Copyright © 2019

  Brenda S. Anderson

  All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, etc.—except for quotations in reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of either the author or the publisher.

  Cover Design by Think-Cap Studios

  Welcome to

  The Mosaic Collection

  We are sisters, a beautiful mosaic united by the love of God through the blood of Christ

  Beginning August 2019, this international group of authors will release one book each month for the next twelve months, as we explore our theme, Family by His Design, and share stories that feature diverse, God-designed families. All are contemporary stories ranging from mystery to women’s fiction, humorous fiction, and literary fiction. We hope you’ll join our Mosaic family as we learn together what truly defines a family.

  To keep informed about The Mosaic Collection books, subscribe to Grace & Glory, the official newsletter of The Mosaic Collection. You will receive monthly encouragement from Mosaic authors as well as timely updates about events, new releases, and giveaways.

  Subscribe:

  www.mosaiccollectionbooks.com/grace-glory/

  Learn more about The Mosaic Collection at:

  www.mosaiccollectionbooks.com/

  Join our Reader Community, too!

  www.facebook.com/groups/theMosaiccollection

  To learn more about Brenda S. Anderson, subscribe to her newsletter and receive Coming Home, a Coming Home Series short story.

  Subscribe:

  brendaandersonbooks.com/subscribe/

  Books in The Mosaic Collection

  When Mountains Sing by Stacy Monson

  Unbound by Eleanor Bertin

  The Red Journal by Deb Elkink

  A Beautiful Mess by Brenda S. Anderson

  Hope is Born: A Mosaic Christmas Anthology

  (Coming December 4, 2019!)

  Coming in 2020:

  Novels by Lorna Seilstad, Janice L. Dick, Angela D. Meyer, Sara Davison, Johnnie Alexander, Regina Rudd Merrick, and Hannah R. Conway

  Learn more at www.mosaiccollectionbooks.com/books/

  Praise for

  A Beautiful Mess

  If you like realistic stories about flawed people learning to follow Jesus, then this is a book for you . . . well-written story with excellent characterisation.

  —CHRISTINE DILLON, Award-winning author of Grace in Strange Disguise

  A Beautiful Mess is a powerful, realistic read about the love and faithfulness of God to repair and restore the pieces of our broken lives. I loved it. I always adore all of Brenda Anderson’s novels.

  —JULIA WILSON, ChristianBookaholic.com

  This book drew me in from the very beginning. I laughed, cried, mourned, and cheered throughout the story for the different characters. Brenda Anderson has given us a truly beautiful story of how God can take the broken pieces of human’s life mistakes and sins and create a truly wonderful mosaic.

  —MARGARET LAWTON, avid reader

  What an incredible work of art. This story is amazing, a true forgiveness story, bringing out how God loves us and is waiting for our repentance.

  —CHERYL KRAUSS, avid reader

  To Stacy Monson

  for walking alongside me on this very messy road

  of writing and publishing!

  I couldn’t have traveled it without you!

  CONTENTS

  About A BEAUTIFUL MESS

  Books by Brenda S. Anderson

  Books in The Mosaic Collection

  CONTENTS

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Epilogue

  Dear Reader

  Acknowledgements

  Also by Brenda S. Anderson

  About the Author

  “As we pour out our bitterness, God pours in his peace.”

  F.B. Meyer

  Chapter One

  Today was a good day to live again.

  Erin Belden rubbed the wrist she’d had tattooed a few weeks back. It was still healing, but at least she was now free of wearing a wide bracelet or long sleeves. Another sign of life.

  She strode across her bedroom and folded open the closet doors. What to pack . . . She drummed a finger on her chin then chose a pair of jeans and a couple of hoodies. No need for dressing up, this weekend was all about comfort. And she wouldn’t have to worry about hiding her scars or faking emotions she wasn’t capable of feeling.

&n
bsp; Her best friend knew the truth.

  Going on the weekend retreat with Debbie was exactly the jumpstart she needed before diving into her new home business on Monday. No longer would she allow her ex-husband to rule over her thoughts and actions. Maybe she’d even start dating again. There was that cute newcomer at church . . .

  Thinking about him made her feel . . .

  She pinched her eyes shut and tried dredging up those feelings that made themselves known only around rare people, like anger with her ex, frustration with her daughter, peace with her best friend.

  Excited. Yeah. That was what she felt when she thought of that guy at church. New beginnings, new relationships without strings—or pasts—were exciting.

  Now she was getting ahead of herself. Slow down, Erin! She had more important things to worry about than daydreaming about a new relationship. That last and only one had failed miserably.

  She glanced out the bedroom window. Snowflakes were already starting to swirl through the air, and many more would join them as the minutes wore on. The forecasters warned of an approaching snowstorm, maybe a blizzard, an April Fool’s joke played four days late. If they didn’t get on the road soon, the roads could become treacherous. Thank goodness Debbie was punctual.

  Problem was, her ex wasn’t.

  She jotted a mental to-do list while packing a bag of toiletries and important meds. Send Michaela off with her father. Hooray for that! Finish packing. Don’t forget her Bible, chocolate, a couple of mindless adventure flicks and only one chick flick. Neither she nor Debbie cared for them. They had been her ex’s favorite.

  “Do I have to go?” Michaela’s all-too-familiar pubescent whine sounded from Erin’s bedroom doorway. What Erin would give to have the girl back who couldn’t wait to go to her daddy’s new home where she’d be lavished with expensive gifts and treated like a princess. Oh, how she’d adored her daddy. That glow had worn off too quickly once her stepsister was born.

  Shoot, just like that, Corey had wormed his way into Erin’s thoughts. She shoved him aside and did her best not to reply to her daughter with snark, by forcing a smile. “Mik, I’m going to be gone this weekend. I can’t leave you home alone.”

  “Then I’ll go to Hannah’s house. Her mom said I could stay.”

  “No can do. It’s your father’s weekend for you.”

  Mik snorted and formed horns with her fingers on her head. “Tell that to the wicked stepmom.”

  Erin might be poor at identifying body language, but that she understood clearly. Erin clenched her teeth together and spoke through them. “Your stepmother is not that bad.” Well, not exactly true, but Erin always tried to paint both her ex and his new wife in a positive light, letting Mik draw her own conclusions.

  “But they give all their attention to the brat.”

  One . . . two . . . three . . . Erin continued to count under her breath. This was just adolescence rearing its dragon-like head. She sat down on her bed and patted the space beside her.

  Mik trudged across the carpet as if her feet were dragging fifty-pound weights. To think, this was just the beginning of teenage drama. How would Erin make it through the next five years without throttling her daughter?

  It seemed to take forever, but at last Mik slumped down on the bed, her shoulders hunched as if they bore the same weight that dragged her feet.

  Lord, give me strength. Erin stretched an arm around her daughter’s back and drew her close. Erin might not like hugs, but her daughter thrived on them. “That’s just the way three-year-olds are. They require a lot of attention.”

  Mik sighed, heaving her shoulders along with it. “I know, but why should I be punished because Dad couldn’t keep his pants zipped?”

  Erin jerked back as if slapped. “Michaela!” She knew about her father’s affair? Oh, boy. That meant it was time for another talk, but not tonight. Nothing was going to spoil this weekend, so she tucked her daughter’s head against her shoulder. “That’s a question I’ve asked myself numerous times, and there’s no good answer. But I’ve decided I can’t wallow in it. I can’t be bitter. Not anymore. And I need to move on with my life.” Nearly four years of wallowing had been too long. His selfish actions would no longer steal her joy.

  “Dad’s moved on. You’re moving on.” Mik sniffled and dragged an arm across her nose. “Can’t I move on, too?”

  “Your father loves you.”

  “Right. That’s why he abandoned me.” She propelled off the bed.

  “Mik, please.”

  Without turning back, Mik stomped across the room and out the bedroom door.

  Lord, help me. Erin massaged her forehead while throwing mental darts at her ex-husband. If only he could see the damage he’d left in his selfish wake, leaving her to pick up all the shattered pieces of their family.

  There she went again. Grrr. Reminders of Corey’s indiscretions would steal no more seconds of her weekend. Mik would go to his place, she’d end up having fun, and then come home and complain that Erin never did anything fun with her.

  So, she did waste another second.

  She sighed while adding a few items to her suitcase, including a family-sized bag of Sixlets that likely wouldn’t last the weekend, and rolled her luggage out to the living room. Debbie should be here soon. Facing Corey was always easier when another adult was around to keep her from throwing things—okay, she’d only thrown things one time, but that time had been immensely gratifying.

  As soon as Corey picked up Mik—who was probably sulking in her bedroom—Erin would be off on a fabulous retreat, surrounded by nature and not a thirteen-year-old drama queen. God’s voice would certainly break through.

  Oh, she needed to hear His voice!

  The doorbell rang as she set her suitcase by the front door. No surprise, Debbie was right on time.

  She pulled open the door, and a brisk, biting wind pushed through the opening. “Are you as ready—”

  Her gazed connected with Corey’s and tension zapped through her body. He was early? The man was never on time, much less early.

  “Hey, sorry I’m early.” He combed gloved fingers through blond hair that curled over his ears, landing on his shoulders, hiding the earring she knew he now sported. It all made him look like the artist he’d become. A lazy smile edged up his lips to the left. What did that mean? That he didn’t have a care maybe? Or that he was peaceful?

  What she did know was that he looked good. Better than when they’d been married, even, and he’d always been a head-turner.

  She shook her head to escape from her over-analytical thoughts and crossed her arms. “You’re right on time for once. And I need to warn you that puberty is hitting full force.”

  He shrugged. “Guess we had to expect it. She’ll be fine.”

  Stupid small talk. She always hated this part of the child exchange. Someday she’d never have to see him again. Well, except for graduations and weddings and . . .

  Oh, who was she kidding, she’d never be rid of him. But she’d do her best to show he didn’t bother her.

  She looked beyond Corey’s shoulder, glancing between the snowflakes. Where was Debbie, anyway?

  Corey followed her gaze. “Looking for something?”

  “Just a friend. We’re retreating this weekend, so please don’t bother me unless it’s an absolute emergency.”

  “I promise.”

  “I’ll get Mik.” She closed the door, leaving Corey outside in the cold, with hardly a tinge of guilt. She strode from the entry and through the living room, and down the short hallway to Mik’s room. She knocked. “Your dad’s here.” No reply, which wasn’t a surprise. Mik would eventually make her way out, probably hauling a storm cloud darker than the one outside.

  On the way back to the front door, Erin glimpsed herself in the hallway mirror. Oh, she was a frumpy mess. She should have freshened up her makeup, her hair. Too late now. Besides, what she looked like to Corey shouldn’t matter.

  Corey had stepped inside and shut the do
or behind him. “Is she ready?” He looked past Erin, down the hallway.

  Erin shrugged. “Her bag is packed.”

  “But she doesn’t want to come with me.” Something unidentifiable flickered on his face as he sighed and looked down at his snow-caked boots. “I’m sorry, Erin.”

  He was sorry? Three important words spoken far too late, for which she had no response.

  Debbie, where are you?

  A door slammed behind her, announcing that Miss Attitude was on her way. She slunk into the living room, suitcase in hand, her gaze riveted downward. Oh, Corey and bride were going to have a fun weekend. A wicked smile forced its way out, but Erin quickly tucked it back in. She didn’t feel sorry for him, not one little bit.

  “Hey, Sixlet, good to see you.” He took the suitcase from her and tried to give her a hug, but she pulled away.

  “Don’t call me Sixlet.” She shoved past him, flung open the front door, and trudged in flip-flops across the snow-dotted sidewalk toward his Prius.

  That girl was going to be the death of her.

  “Mik, your coat.” He snatched her winter jacket off the closet hook, but he got the silent treatment. He puffed out a breath and shook his head. “You warned me. This is going to be fun.”

  “Welcome to my world. At least you don’t have to deal with her every day of the week.” Erin grabbed Mik’s snow boots from the closet and handed them to her ex. “Shouldn’t you be going?”

  “Uh, yeah.” He kicked his heel on her entry rug and looked toward her, but his gaze avoided hers. What did that language say? Was he about to lie? Or was he avoiding something? “Actually, there’s a reason I got here early. We’re taking Six to see the Grizzlies tonight and need to get on the road.”